New Year, New Rant

Presenting another in our series spotlighting various members of the South Jersey Writers' Group - today's guest blog is by Barbara Godshalk.

While it’s still only February, I thought I’d pass along a few thoughts on the new year. To quote my six year old daughter, “How many more days until spring, mommy?” I guess I got spoiled by last winter. We delicate flowers need our heat. It’s been absolutely rude out there. We haven’t even had a decent snow yet. You would think after all the carbohydrates from the holidays I’d be warm enough but no, as we say in these parts, it’s friggin’ freezing. I’ve been living in layers like a walking wool parfait. Isn’t that one 'advantage' of winter? I don’t have to see all those carbs, they’re buried under sweaters!

It’s taken years, but I’ve finally smartened up when it comes to mitigating the damage from all that shopping. Only buy what you have to for the people you’re going to see in the order you see them. For that special breed of masochists who shop on Black Friday, God bless you. I’d rather stick forks in my eyes. I’ve been able to scoop up a few bargains for friends’ kids at the post holiday clearance sales. I also shopped in my basement as much as possible. I’m a year round squirreler. If I find something for someone in July, I’ll grab it for later use.

This January has been every bit as annoying as last year. The difference is I’m feeling slightly better. I didn’t say optimistic, let’s not get crazy. I am however, busy at home and very lucky that I still have that ability. It does feel funny that I don’t have any official job lined up for tax season this year. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll be hanging out watching the “he-did-it-fry-the-bastard” channel while my girl is at school. My guilty pleasure isn’t reality TV per se, but those "Dateline" style crime shows (not something I’m proud of).

While I won’t be receiving a steady paycheck in the near future I have found money in my house (at least a few shekels). I’m getting ready for a huge clearance sale. My development has a yard sale every spring. The gory details can be found in a whole separate soap opera previously published (Tall Tales and Short Stories from South Jersey). Yes, I haven’t given up on that. Why? We need the space.

Toys "R" Us explodes in our house every Christmas and every birthday. This goes beyond the idea of ‘it’s not the kid, it’s the crap they come with.’ This mushrooms into the network of our friends’ kids that we buy for and get gifts from. It’s like a warped Catholic Hanukkah (with a lot less meaning). The gifts go on for a lot longer than eight days. I’m trying to remember that we’re lucky to have a herd to thin. As every parent knows, old toys must disappear by stealth. We could own something my daughter hasn’t touched in over nine months. I will start to view this as a possible good candidate for sale. This toy will emit some sort of distress signal to our girl and she will suddenly find it fascinating! I never see the leftovers in our refrigerator do this.

There are also the ancient mommy clothes hiding in my dresser. I am referring to the fact that the last time I went grown up clothes shopping was for maternity clothes and maybe one other time in the last six years. If it’s older than my daughter, there’s a good chance it’s way older and should probably leave. Unlike the music I listened to in college, however, I wouldn’t call those old clothes 'classic.' No one’s possessions are safe, especially when I can’t answer the question "Why the hell are we keeping this?"

Once again, I could use to put those hearts up around the house and maybe a few turkeys would have been nice it they’d only remind me to be grateful. The problem is I need something that says, "be grateful," not "we Heart poultry." Hearts yes, but turkeys??? (I’m open to suggestions.)

If I could be said to be 'looking forward' to anything, it would be to seeing the floor in our basement. By then, the weather will be warmer, I hope. In the meantime, I’m planning to help myself survive the winter by planning a summer getaway - not for me. I’ll be looking for summer camps for our daughter!

Happy New Year, enjoy your ride in the slingshot.

About today's guest-blogger:

Barb Godshalk is a married mommy of a now six-year-old wealth of material and lives with her supportive husband in South Jersey. Her work had been featured on the In the Powder Room website as well as on Sirius XM's late lamented Lime Radio. Recently, you can find her in the South Jersey Writers' Group anthology Tall Tales and Short Stories. The majority of works involve memoir and life lessons pieces with as much humor as readers can tolerate. You can check out Barb's blog Momsanity here. Enjoy.

Happy January

Presenting the first in a series spotlighting various members of the South Jersey Writers' Group - today's guest blog is by Barbara Godshalk.

Happy New Year! Jingle Bills, Jingle Bills, Credit cards are due! It’s freezing out, my pants don’t fit, no wonder I feel blue. I am knee deep in January let down. I feel fluffy - who doesn’t after the holidays? Santa forgot to leave a few things under my tree - patience, gratitude and organization skills would have been nice. Patience is one of my biggest problems. I have to remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was my gut. If it took time to build up, why am I so frustrated when I don’t drop five pounds in twenty-four hours?

Organizational skills - especially where my three year old is concerned - would definitely come in handy. I wish I had a shop vac that would suck up small toys but I’d still need a place to keep them - instead of scattered. There are also toys that my daughter no longer plays with that had to disappear by stealth.

This brings me to gratitude because we are lucky to have this “problem”. I have a lot of stuff that needs to be organized. There are people - and plenty of them - who don’t have enough. I also have a spouse who is a bit of a slob. While this doesn’t help keeping the house in order, I still have a spouse - in good health - and a great father to our daughter. Said spouse also still has a job, certainly a plus in our economy these days. He is also not harassing me about my lack of full time paying employment - another unusual feature in a spouse.

All this cold weather and lack of distractions makes me introspective - what a pain in the ass.

Unfortunately, the nearest major holiday is months away. I have no problems looking forward, it’s looking around that seems to be a problem. Maybe I should have asked for a pair of good glasses. It would be great if I could see how blessed we are without having to make such a deliberate effort. More than that, I’d like to be able to relax and enjoy - does Santa do miracles?

What’s weird is that I have so much to be thankful for that I feel like a fish out of water. I had a friend remark that when you’ve spent your life waiting for the other shoe to drop, it’s hard to break the habit.

Optimism is never on sale for half price after Christmas. People do tend to talk about it in reference to a new year. Personally, I resolve not to make promises I know damn well I won’t keep. For me, optimism feels like a hair shirt. So maybe rather than resolving to be optimistic, me and optimism could meet for coffee occasionally.

Some people say optimists see the glass as half full. I’d say it needs more wine. To see the glass clearly, or anything else for that matter, I would like to be able to remove the crap colored glasses through which I’ve been seeing my self and my house. Since tempus fugit is the understatement of the century, isn’t negativity a waste of time?

I understand that this is a new year but some things don’t seem to change. We go on diets and break them and we promise to clean more and don’t. What I’d really like for this year is to hang onto the lessons I’ve learned from the last year rather than repeating mistakes like a bee trying to fly through a closed window. Personal changes seem to move along like glaciers. What is this patience and where can I get some right now??!!

This year my house will still be messy, Playboy won’t be calling, and I’ll probably be just as sarcastic as I was last year - maybe worse in an election year. However, if I’m going to fight the winter let down, I can make sure my thermostat isn’t set to cheap bastard. Not playing human vacuum when my little food critic won’t eat all her dinner would certainly help my pants - if not my outlook.

I may even manage to put a few paper hearts up around the house to celebrate love - and life - for as long as we’re allowed to have it. Hell, I may even leave them up till June. Happy New Year, Happy Valentine’s Day, and Happy Thanksgiving. How’s your winter going?

About today's guest-blogger:

Barb Godshalk is a married mommy of a now five-year-old wealth of material and lives with her supportive husband in South Jersey. Her work had been featured on the In the Powder Room website as well as on Sirius XM's late lamented Lime Radio. Recently, you can find her in the South Jersey Writers' Group anthology Tall Tales and Short Stories. The majority of works involve memoir and life lessons pieces with as much humor as readers can tolerate. It is hoped that this blog post will be the final cattle prod to start a blog of her own. Enjoy.